"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies."

Fourth Post

Now that I have finished the book, I suppose that I should do at least one summary-type blog so that you guys know what’s going on. I’ll highlight the main events, but if you want a more in-depth summary, check out Sparknotes, or better yet, read the book itself. It’s good.

The first part of the book is mostly exposition, which is where most of the previous blogs fit in. As we already know, John’s mission to write a book about the atomic bomb prompts him to contact people in order to find information about Dr. Felix Hoenikker. He first contacts Newt, and learns about Felix’s life at home with his three children, Frank, Angela, and Newt. Later he travels to Illium, the city where the Hoenikkers used to live, and meets with Dr. Asa Breed, Felix’s supervisor. There, he learns about Felix’s wife (who died a while back), Felix’s work, and ice-nine. Dr. Breed claims that ice-nine was never created, but we are told that Felix had actually successfully created a bit of ice-nine before he died, and the pieces were split between his children. John will discover this later.

John is hired to write an article about Julian Castle, a philanthropist on the island of San Lorenzo. On the plane ride there, John meet Hazel and Lowe Crosby who are looking to move their bicycle business to San Lorenzo due to labor regulations in the U.S. John also meet Newt and Angela who are on their way to San Lorenzo to celebrate Frank’s engagement to Mona. Frank is now the Major General of San Lorenzo, and Mona is the beautiful adopted daughter of “Papa” Monzano, the island’s dictator.

Upon arriving at San Lorenzo, John learns about its history. He discovers that when Bokonon and McCabe originally landed on the island, McCabe became the ruler, while Bokonon developed his own religion called Bokononism. John falls in love with Mona, who is a sex symbol in San Lorenzo due to her beauty. ”Papa” Monzano falls gravely ill, and if he dies Frank will be next in line for the position of President. However, Frank is not interested in taking on such a public roll since he is extremely socially awkward and asks John to take his place. Since a perk of the job is marrying Mona (who is predicted by the Books of Bokonon to marry the next President of San Lorenzo), John agrees.

The next day, San Lorenzo prepares to celebrate The Day of the Hundred Martyrs to Democracy. “Papa” Monzano dies, but his doctor is perplexed as to the cause of death. Upon further examination, John realizes that “Papa” Monzano had committed suicide by touching ice-nine to his lips, which instantly froze all of the liquid in his body. By examining “Papa” Manzano’s body, the doctor had unknowingly picked up particles of ice-nine onto his hands. When he goes to the sink to wash his hands, all of the water in the sink freezes. Before John can stop him, the doctor places his finger to his lips out of curiosity and his entire body freezes as well.

After John’s realizes that ice-nine had successfully been created, he orders Frank, Newt, and Angela into the room and demands confessions from them. In order to prevent any ice-nine from potentially making its way into a major body of water, they decide to blowtorch areas of room and burn the bodies. However, they decide to put off the bodies until after the ceremony. During the ceremony, one of the planes crash into the cliff below “Papa” Monzano’s castle, and the house along with the frozen bodies all tumble into the ocean below, causing all of Earth’s water to instantly freeze into ice-nine.

Soon after, most of the island’s inhabitants, including Mona, commit suicide with ice-nine. For the next six months, only John, Frank, Newt, and the Crosby’s are alive. With nowhere to go, John finishes his book. When he and Newt journey up Mount McCabe, John finally meets Bokonon, who is sitting by the side of the road writing the last sentence of the Books of Bokonon:
“If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who.” (p.287)